I want to have your abortion
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
