That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
