dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
