if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
People in love make me want to vomit
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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