Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
