tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
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heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
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