My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
No more Irish car bombs ever.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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