I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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