I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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