Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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