I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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