He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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