my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
