Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
