You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
