dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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