He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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