I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
