He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
