oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
