The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize