2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
