So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Don't tell me you're on acid again
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize