Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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