i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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