Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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