Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie