I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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