we have pet lesbian snakes
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
