What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
