They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
