I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
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Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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