lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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