it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
