WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
okay pat passed out under dana's car
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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