my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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