never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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