I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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