we're blogging at a bar
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
