Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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