A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
