I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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