i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
