I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
You should frame my arrest warrant.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
