Your dad touched me again.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
