Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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