btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
