I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize