we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
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I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
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How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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