How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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