super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
