I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
