Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
